But is that the full mystery behind unconscious operations? It couldn't be - there must be a lot more going on unconsciously that needs explanation. For instance, in each different social situation there are probably different emotional responses. Your anxiety, arousal, attention, perception and emotions could vary - I already stated that those were the main factors involved with psychological functioning.
The following passage (also by Lindgren) shows the importance of empathy, it also explains a little how it impacts your perception and anxiety:
- Empathy, as used in this sense,
is the ability to be aware of the feelings and attitudes of otherswithout necessarily sharing them. W e gain this awareness by observing
the speech, facial expression, posture, and body movementsof others. As one four-year-old said, " I k n o w m y M o m m y 's
mad, 'cause she walks mad." Empathy is the result of sensitive andacute perception. Like other forms of perception, it m a y be sharpened
or dulled, depending on the state of our emotions. Sometimesanxiety can serve to sharpen empathic awareness, but usually
it operates to distort it.
Empathy, and its influence on anxiety and perception, is just one aspect of psychological functioning. It has to do with how connected people are to other people, but there are many aspects about how people are connected and a complex emotional and intellectual exchange that occurs moment to moment when people interact. Your perception, connectivity, anxiety, arousal, feelings and thoughts are constantly changing.
This next passage by Lindgren mentions how interactions are sort of like unconscious interchanges of feeling:
- Most of us are
capable of empathizing most of the time, and as w e empathizewith one another, w e find our actions and atdtudes conditioned or
affected by one another's feelings. This amounts to a sort of communicadonor exchange of " feeling-tone " that takes place below
the level of consciousness. In many, if not most, situations involvingtwo or more persons, the interchange of feeling-tone at the
unconscious level is of greater importance than the verbal exchangeat the conscious level.
Lindgren shows an example of feeling-tone by a salesman who is hiding contempt for some of his customers. Even though his contempt isn't obvious in his tone and gestures, nevertheless those customers end up feeling tense and stressed. Here is another example he uses the shows how teachers do a similar thing:
- Teachers, too, are in a position to use or misuse the communication
of feeling-tone. Some teachers are technically competent, butso unsure of their relations with others that they attempt to
" cover up " by being grim or pedantic or hypercritical. Teachersof this sort usually succeed in communicating the very feelings
they are tr}'ing to hide, with the result that the class becomestense, hostile, or just bored. Other teachers are able to empathize
with their students to the point that they can determine whetherstudents understand or are confused, whether they are recepti\-e,
or whether they are in a m.ood calling for a change of pace andsubject matter.
Lindgren also showed how some things are unconscious, people may come up with reasons for their behavior, but the real reason could be something that is unconscious and beneath their awareness. The feeling-tone that people convey is similarly beneath awareness most of the time. People could be acting one way, but be communicating something completely different unconsciously.
Here is another example he gives and a conclusion:
- The communication of feeling-tone is essential, too, in courtship.
T w o people may meet accidentally and discuss the weatheror the latest television program in a casual fashion. Yet whfle this
desultory con\'ersation proceeds, there is an exchange of feelingtone,and each may begin to feel the effects of mutual attraction
and warm feelings. This experience leads to other meetings, untflthe participants are sufficienth' a-ware of their feelings to make
them a subject for communication on the conscious level.
- In the situations w e ha\'e described above, the words spoken at
the conscious level do not necessarily give clues to the communicationtaking place at the feeling le\el. And, as we have indicated,
the latter type of communicadon realh' plays the more importantpart in attitude formation, motivation, and the course of action
people actually will take.
Here is another conclusion he makes, which shows that you cannot hide or act differently, your feelings are there and going to determine what occurs:
- The abihty to put oneself in another's place and sense his attitudes
and feelings is an unconscious process termed " empathy."It is highly necessary- if one is to understand others and communicate
with them effectively. If w e are not empathic, w e are indanger of being chronically disappointed in others. Thus we must
be aware of h o w others feel, and of the fact that their feelings arefrequently at odds with what the}' say. At the same time, w e must
be aware of our own feelings, which have an effect on others.There is, in short, an exchange of feeling-tone.
Emotions lie at the heart of social interactions. Subtle changes in emotion occur all of time, and these changes are going to influence what you think and do, and also the larger, more potent emotions that you feel. Empathy is just one important aspect of how emotion works in a social interaction, without it there would be a disconnection, and much of the subtlety involved might not occur. For instance the "subtle little mannerisms, quirks, facial expressions, tones of voice, and so on" might not occur at all.
